I know I have a lot of entries that are about Myles. Here I go again... I have had several conversations and situations in the last week that have led me to where I am today, right now. Filling out intake forms I realized this kid is a genius. Really. I know all parents say that. He is. One week ago we had dinner with a family who has a two year old. Sometime I have difficulty being around kids his exact age. Don't get me wrong, I love his little friends. I love spending time with their families. Sometimes it is just hard. Sometimes it hurts my heart to see what he "isn't doing". I hate the comparing thing. I have always hated it. It always made me mad at church when people would comment that he wasn't walking or he wasn't talking or whatever he wasn't doing. I hate the stupid emails that I get "Your 23-month-old". Anyways, we came home from this previous mentioned dinner a little... I don't know what the word is. We had the conversation... "Why isn't he doing this or that?" Matt sees is so logically as if to say, he isn't doing ______ then this is what we should do. I see it more emotional. I am his mom. I want to protect him. I want to hand pick his little friends. I want to rescue him in situations where I know he is struggling. I want people to see what I see. To love him like I love him. From the moment he entered my life I knew things were going to be different. Not a bad different. But just different. I was given a quote at a time when I was struggling. I know I have shared it with a lot of people but it fits a lot of different situations. It also makes me feel good.
Two friends are taking about one of their wayward son and how heartbreaking it is and ultimately why...
"This is what I think, Sam. In the premortal life you had a heart, which allowed you to love, and you had a mind, which allowed you to make choices. I think your mind recognized in David something that said he might not come home, and you worried about it. And because your heart loved him, you said, "Send him to me, and let me be his earthly father. I will always love him and teach him and never give up hope, and I will do all I can to help him because I know him so well. I will be patient and kind. He might break my heart many times, and I may lose a thousand nights of sleep over him, but I see him for who he is now and what he may become. So please, please send him to me because no one will love him more than I." You might have said something like that, Sam, and now you have your wish, and your heart is broken and your thousand nights of worry plague your mind, but it could be that you asked for all of this. Maybe it was one of the first decisions entrusted to us, to petition for certain family relationships on earth."
That has really helped me not necessarily that I have wayward children but some of the difficulties we have faced with our children. Why them? And it helps for me recognize that maybe I had that same conversation with Heavenly Father and I said to him "Please, please send him to me because no one will love him more than I."
So as I completed the latest round of intake paperwork I realized I have been entrusted a very special little boy. I will be patient. I will do all I can to help him because I know him so well. I will help him show the world his light. I want to share a few brilliant Myles moments we have had...
I want to share a few brilliant Myles moments we have had...
11 months old. I had just dumped a bunch of stuff on his tray and he sorted.
14 months old. I know, I know. Babies and chemicals don't mix. But he was obsessed with organizing them and I was right there by him, watching. See his method.
18 months old. I watched him do this one afternoon. Picked up a green marker. M... Y...L... E... S... I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen him do it in that order.
Lots of things end up like this at our house. Nothing wrong with a house of order.
He could spend hours doing this. Actually he does spend hours doing this. But he has a method. One he has perfected. No one can disturb his stack. Stack them all exactly the same way, put them in the basket, stack them all exactly the same. There is something very calming about this...
I just love him.
9 comments:
I see Myles on Sundays in Nursery and I have to say that he is a sweet little guy. He misses Mom and Dad, since Nursery is new to him, but, once we get him engaged he is all there. He loves the cars and blocks and he although doesn't sing much during music time, he listens and you know his wheels are turning! Keep up the good work, he is worth every minute! But you knew that already...
Megan... I love you...you should know this...also call me...do you remember Jordan at that age? We do all we can and then we turn it over to the Lord... its the only way to get through.
I have to say thank you. I think you know that I struggle with the same issues and you have really helped me to put things in perspective. And helped me to understand that their is a reason for all of it. It's hard to be a mom. The worries consume me sometimes. Thanks for helping me turn to the lord. This was my first real experiance with you and one of the reasons why I just had to be your friend!
That is exactly why YOU get to be his mom. You are an inspiration to us all. I wish I could get to know Myles now that he is growing up. And I totally know what you mean about the comparing thing. It's only fun when your child is advanced...and when they are not, it's all a bunch of hog wash. I've been on both ends.
Megan, your post brought tears to my eyes. It is so obvious why you are his mother, you love him SO MUCH. What a fantasic mom you are. I miss you guys and can't wait til we can meet again:)
spice drops are in the trunk.
Okay, I am at work reading this post and I am balling. I had heard that Myles may have autisim (I think I spelled that right). You totally have a genius on your hand. I am just in awe of the things he is doing. I totally believe that you were given this special blessing because you are the only one that can love and take care of him the way he needs to be loved and cared for. I totally feel this way about my children. I am so glad that we have crossed paths, and just as I said on your facebook, I totally miss seeing your beautiful smile in the hallways at church. I will definitely keep in touch!
Megan - As I sit here and cry the thought that keeps running through my head is there is nothing like a mothers love! You know that I think you are the best mother and no one could love your kids more! I love you for the mother that you are!!!
I know this is a very late comment but I cried so much when I read your post that I didn't quite know what to say and how to say it. It all comes down to what you said about knowing before hand and what we do with the situation. Most importantly he has the best parents around. You are a fabulous mom and I am completely honored to be your friend and peek in on your life.
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